Finding Love In Yourself
Ironically this post showed up in my tumblr feed and it spoke to my heart. Often I have thought about who I will fall in love with and who will love me back. Growing up in a two parent household with all of the adults in my immediate family married, naturally I grew up with a strong belief that when you grow up you get married. Today that is so far from reality, Trust was an issue for me, so I thought my relationship issues with other people were my fault. I doubted that I could bring happiness or satisfaction to anybody’s life because of my short comings. Love yourself, I would always hear it and see it. That saying played over and over in my mind for years but nothing never clicked, I just settled for problem after problem.
Feelings that I once had to make me happy as a child slowly faded away as I got older. The more responsibility I had, the more I lost myself. I no longer knew what it felt like to get excited, to be happy, to anticipate something until I could hardly sleep at night. Sure I had days of joy. Pure joyful moments were scattered in my life enough to say that I have no regrets but something was missing. Slowly and carefully analyzing my life and questioning my existence was my forte, I was very good at it. Thinking and asking why.. all of the time was getting to me, in the worst way. I had feelings of depression, sadness and guilt. Meditating and spending some alone time with myself, listening to my body and my heart more, I felt a change. Something in me started to speak louder.
I heard exactly what I needed to hear. Let go of things and people you cannot control and take care of you, something you can control. Operating in your present moment and your true spirit brings peace to your heart. That moment when you say to yourself “I let that go” you are experiencing true love. Love the fact that your space is your space and whatever you want you can create as long as you do it in love.
Peace and Understanding
Before the calm there will be a storm. Feeding my mind body and spirit was non existent. Books were not being read, spiritual feeding was scarce, and my body… I was just giving it away. Never ever neglect yourself. Always listen to your body, it is your temple. Read books, watch movies that interest you and make you happy. Start eating clean foods and stop indulging in things we think are good but make us sick at the end of a day. Start a ritual where you can be at peace with yourself and clear your mind. Stop rushing and plan. There are many things you can do to reincarnate your body and find the love of yourself. I started doing these things, slowly. When I look in the mirror I see me. I know what I want and I wont violate my calling. My thoughts are clearer now.
My intuition and visions are more clear. What I want for my life is a reality as long as I am true to myself. Fears of not having many friends or getting married are tucked away in this trash box I call my old life. I put fears in this box, shyness, antisocial, limits, sex, single parent, broke, indecisiveness, laziness, sickness, restrictions, judgments, confusion and most of all self hate and self destruction. The people that were attached to these feelings are flying into that box like a genie back in a bottle. Its like a big relief, I now have room for LOVE. I love me. I love what I am doing to my body and my mind. Spiritual wellness is the key to opening all the doors in your path. Figure out your path and lets talk about it. Comment down below to start a discussion.